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I have heard of these boards but never posted.I need help!My wife and i have a baby via anon donor from a bank.I identify as male, post transition i guess(Pass 24/7)So we have had our baby refer to me as daddy.That is some of our background but here lay the issues:

Wifes family against my wishes know of my past, we had crossed paths prior to my transition and they are assholes, mainly Cheap Ralph Lauren Sale my father in law, if he speaks to me at all he's rude to me and says derogatory things

Since the baby it's worse he makes comments regarding the other half of baby's dna, our kid had jaundice and he makes comments"Our we sure baby is all white? " (He's racist as well)But clearly rubbing in my lack and bio contribution, he's done this 2x now worth noting he's only been around her 2x so i'm seeing a pattern.He also refuses to let me do anything with my kid when he's around like i'm an idiot.

Wife sort of stands up to him but not really, shes afraid if she tells him off he will cut her out(Has in past)And won't let her siblings see her Pandora Bracelets UK other(Also been done)

My biggest problem?I don't feel connected to my child, i don't feel like a father.I don't feel like anything to the child but a live in babysitter.I don't look and see me in that face and i'm reminded of my inability to be a"Real"Man and to be a"Real"Daddy.Her family talking about how much she is all"Wides maiden last name"Only further pushes me away from my kid and feeling confident and connected as a parent.

I always though us having a kid was the start of a beautiful family but really lately i feel like this whole thing and her families new extended involvement is really the start of the end of our marriage and family.Maybe she and the baby would be better off if that was the case.

I feel so Louis Vuitton Handbags UK broken and depressed and my wife doesn't get it, she doesn't understand to what degree this affects me.

Please help!How do i build a connection or how do you get over the feelings of not being a bio parents and also what should i do regarding my inlaws?

I am vague with reference to the Louis Vuitton Outlet Sale child for anonymity

Sorry so long and sorry for any errors, watery eyes make for difficult typing:'(

Thanks everyone, wife and i were able to talk yesterday and she just didnt understand my pov basically she felt it was just easier to let him say what he will and let go in one ear and out the other she didn't understand that to me it feels like her agreeing or complying and that though i know families are tricky and it's difficult that our family(Me, her, baby)Should come first before anyone else and that i'm not saying she needs to end communication with him she needs to establish boundaries and call him out for his rude behavior;And if he cuts her off or refuses to follow rules and she has to cut him out so be it.It's certainly complicated and we have to bite our tongues for another month so to get through a big family event but after that she plans to call him out the first time he steps out of line and let the pieces fall where they may.

In regards to my bonding i am trying to spend more time alone with Our baby, build rituals and activities that are"Our"Thing, and think about the characteristics that i want her to learn from me since they can't be"Passed down" (Idk where i fall on the nature/nurture debate really).I also plan to focus on the people that reinforce my role as her dad and reinforce that i am a good dad at that.

Counseling is certainly something we are open to but $ makes it difficult neither of our insurance covers counseling and finding a counselor even somewhat knowledgeable of trans issues will be difficult.

Thank you all again for the kind words and advice: )

Lots of therapists accept a sliding scale that usually starts around $20.I would consider the situation emergencylevel and prioritize getting therapeutic support to help your family pull through this. Louis Vuitton Bags

You can call your local glbtqi center or any other queer resource for a reference to a good therapist who operates on a sliding scale.Honestly, if i lived somewhere that finding a therapist who was transfriendly would be a huge obstacle, i would consider that a real sign that we should spend a year saving like mad and moving to a more supportive place with a bigger community.It sounds extremely lonely and unhealthy to be somewhere without glbtqifriendly therapists while in a relationship with someone who also doesn't appear to get it and surrounded by family of origin that treats you badly.

It's good to hear that you all had a productive conversation.I hope that things continue to progress in a good direction.

Don't worry too much about making sure your daughter gets certain things from you.It will happen in the normal course of your bonding.A loving, interacting father will pass along traits without really trying.I am donor conceived myself, but i share so many traits with my dad that no one in my family could believe it.I even got enough mannerisms and facial expressions from himthat i look like him.Your baby girl will pick up things just by having you be part of her life.

Good luck with everything.Also, i passed you a note yesterday.If you're interested in the glbtq ngp group, please let me know.

I have been in similar shoes in regards to your inlaws even though i carried our boys.My mil was extremely domineering and basically negated everything i said in terms of parenting.And since my partner hates confrontation, her idea was to just ignore her mom.There was no way i could ignore being treated like crap and my wife couldn't understand it.This was such a big issue that we got into counseling over it.

My.02.Your wife needs to woman up and put you and your daughter first.Period.If Louis Vuitton Handbags her family treats you like sht, she needs to step up and establish boundaries.You are here life partner and she needs to treat you like it.This kind of behavior is a breeding ground for contempt, and most relationships cannot survive it.

As for bonding, it can honestly take awhile.My wife was more bonded at first than i was and i carried them.For me, it was easier as they got bigger and i got to know them better.As for not seeing yourself in your child, biology doesn't guarantee that either.While my oldest is my minime.My youngest has an uncanny resemblence to my partner and looks nothing like me.

I would, also, look into getting the 2nd parent adoption.Trans rights are still a very gray area and in the wrong state, you could lose your rights to your daughter.The only way to ensure a legal relationship is with an adoption.Its a pain in the arse but so worth it.

I wish you all the best as you figure it out.In my case, my wife established very clear boundaries with her mom and its all worked out.I wish you the same.If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional.Please review the privacy policy and terms of use before using this site.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the terms of use.




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